What she really means? Mens guide to understanding women.

There are times when men have a difficult time translating what women say.  We created a men’s guide to how to understand women. It’s almost as if they have their own language, so we took the liberty of translating the meaning behind the words she says.  Avoid unnecessary arguments by understanding your partners love language.

1] “We”

Translation: 99 out of 100 times she means ‘I.’

2] “Thank you”

Translation: When she thanks you – don’t question it. Hopefully, she’s really just thanking you. However, if she says: “Thank you very much” with the emphasis on ‘very much,’ that’s probably sarcasm.

3] “I came”

Translation: Now pay me so I can beat the traffic — or — I’m tired of you dripping sweat on me — or — get your heavy ass off me.

4] “Whatever!”

Translation: Another very dangerous word. Depending on the con­text, she’s blowing you off (not in a nice way) or doesn’t want to be bothered by your minuteness.

5] “Are you listening?”

Translation: Never lose track of her conversation. If she mutters this, it’s the kiss of death. And never, ever say ‘No.’

6] “Of course”

Translation: You know she’ll never agree with you. She’s setting you up for something else.

7] “Good”

Translation: Really? You’ll only hear this when she has made her point or gotten her way. At that point, you need to realize there’s nothing more you can say.

8] “Do you think I’m fat?”

Translation: All men should know by now that the truth will get you killed (that’s the easy way out), a permanent attitude; or cut off from sex the rest of your life.

9] “It’s nothing, darling”

Translation: Oh no, it’s not. It’s something and you’re going to have to guess what it is.

10] “We need to talk”

Translation: You don’t need to talk. You only need to listen and nod in agreement every once in a while.

11] “I don’t want to talk about it”

Translation: Oh yes, she does, but only when she’s ready and she’s thought of all the ways to cut your balls off.

12] “You never listen to me”

Translation: She’s right.

13] “Only five more minutes, babe”

Translation: Yeah, right! Her clock doesn’t keep time the way yours does. One minute to her is like dog years, seven to one. But if you say it and keep her waiting, she won’t talk to you until after you get there.

14] “I’m a virgin”

Translation: You’ll never get in my pants.

15] “Do you love me?”

Translation: This is not an affirmation of love she wants. It’s usu­ally an expensive token.

16] “How much do you love me?”

Translation: This is not a request to recite the famous Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem, but a reminder that the present you haven’t gotten her just yet should be a lot bigger than you were planning.

17] “Did you like dinner this evening?”

Translation: The answer is always ‘yes’ no matter how good or bad it was or you’ll be sharing the dog bowl.

18] “Not tonight”

Translation: I have a date with my vibrator.

19] “That was wonderful”

Translation: But I’ve had better.

20] “Did I just hear the baby?”

Translation: No way she’s getting up to deal with it, so next time use a condom.

21] “But, I said please”

Translation: This is definitely a head power trip. Even is she didn’t say it, she expects it from you anyway.

22] “Is the bread all gone?”

Translation: Even is you bought a fresh loaf yesterday, it’s not bread she wants. She’ll tell you to get it and some other things, too.

23] “I’m not yelling”

Translation: She is yelling because she is stressing her point. You have no point to make, now.

24] “Where are you?”

Why the fuck aren’t you there at her beck-and-call?

Do you know of any red flag phrases that we missed? Leave a comment below and share!