Husbands Survival Guide

Single? Engaged? Newlyweds? Married for decades? Regardless of your status, this guide for a husband’s survival will help you all! Just like traditional wedding vows say, marriage is “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. All lovely and ideal but that doesn’t mean your relationship will be sunshine and rainbows every day. Storms will come and go and most people will put in their best effort to weather those dark days. These rules are simple. They may seem obvious in written text, but digest them, don’t forget them and we hope this helps you keep a long, successful marriage! Might even help get you laid from time to time!

Rule One:

The wife is always right. Even when she might be wrong, she’s still right. Pick and choose your battles. Some are worth fighting, but others aren’t worth fighting. Do your best to stay out of the dog house!

Rule Two:

The wife can change the rules in your marriage at any time, even without consulting you. This might not be a terrible thing though. She could wake up one day and decide she likes women and brings a girlfriend home for a ménage-a-trois.

Rule Three:

She’ll let you have the last word in a discussion or argument, as long as it’s “of course, dear!” or “yes, darling!” Say your peace because no one should be silenced. But also, refer to rule one.

Rule Four:

When your wife asks if she looks fat in a new dress, or should lose some weight, or asks if you like her new outfit… proceed with caution. How you answer can determine the fate of your day and where you sleep tonight. It’s possible your honest answer will get you in trouble, so the best answer is to tell her she looks great. No. Matter. What. If she presses the issue, stand your ground. Be firm in your answer, hopefully, she will back down. Otherwise, she might pounce on you at the first sign of weakness and you’re not getting a blowjob for a week!

Rule Five:

We don’t want any marriage to become a statistical divorce. Marital bliss can become monotonous and boring, faster for some than others. Here are some fun ideas to get out of your comfort zone:

1. Late-night walk on the beaches.

2. Game night. Think Monopoly, Scrabble, or strip poker.

3. Serve her breakfast in bed. She can have bacon and eggs while you eat her pussy. Win-Win!

4. Create a bucket list. Places to visit, things to do, vacation spots to see…no limitations here!

5. Movie night with popcorn. Hell… pause it halfway through and take the movie to your bedroom.

Rule Six:

When it comes to sex, think twice before engaging. Do some homework. Check her time of the month, her mood, and her schedule. THEN, check your wallet, your underwear, your breath and, the direction the wind is blowing. Just kidding. Well, kinda kidding. If you don’t know the sweet spot that makes her melt… learn it! I guarantee once you find it, you can turn her anger into pleasure in mere moments.

Rule Seven:

The in-laws. You didn’t just marry her, you married into her family. They are either wonderful & fun people…. Or you might have inherited the stereotypical “Monster-In-Laws”. Breathe; it’ll be OK either way. Never say anything bad about them. They’ve known her for her entire life and have helped mold this fantastic woman you married!

Rule Eight:

Having a small, moderately expensive gift wrapped and ready to give her will go a long way in diverting her wrath. Remember, timing is everything! You have to sense when you’re backed into a corner. What if you forget her birthday, your mother-in-law’s birthday, or maybe your anniversary? You’ll probably remember your first fuck together, or the first time she gave you head, but those dates aren’t nearly as important to her I the grand scheme of life. But don’t let her know you have this precious gift in your underwear drawer. When things go awry, stay calm. Use a smooth, confident voice and tell her, “Babe, I have a little something for you!” The keyword being “little” because when you hand it to her, be sure it’s not actually “little”. A greeting card is little. But a bracelet or necklace is bold. PS… don’t wrap your dick in a box, she probably won’t find it so funny!

Rule Nine:

You’re expected to know and understand these rules without anyone ever needing to explain them to you. Feels like common knowledge but with many things, we’ve learned it might not be so common. And remember the wife can change these rules as she feels fit, so stay on your toes!

Rule Ten:

When all else fails, give her endless pleasure. Make a sexy bucket list. Create a list of fun stuff that will ensure you cum together regularly. A few, fun ideas from our archive:

• Try Anal. Start small and work up to your big dick. It will be well worth the wait! We’ve got a bunch of tips to help you make this successful

• Make oysters for dinner. They’re a well-known aphrodisiac so she’ll start to get horny. Hell, don’t wear anything but an apron. Let her see your ass cheeks jiggle while you’re cooking.

• Suggest phone sex. It’s different, but fun. Talking dirty to each other, visualizing her and what she’s doing to herself. Then tell her what you’re going to do to her, and you’ll have her pussy juicy and ready for when you see each other again. Take a look at Jennifer White, she does phone sex VERRRRRY well.

• Go shopping for sex toys. Pick stuff you’ll both enjoy!

Whether you agree or disagree, these rules will be helpful. Keep this husband’s survival guide close as it may come in hand. Ten simple, yet effective, rules to help you pilot your way through marriage. And as that old saying goes, “happy wife, happy life”!